Time had come to visit the doctor this morning, so he could try to figure out what letter combination “Boo” has or if it is Autism. The appointment paper, sent to us, said it would take an hour and I put on parking for 75 minutes just to make sure I would not get a parking ticket. Once again, I was asked all the questions, and I really feel like the worse mother. I finally told the doctor, had I known that I would be asked all these questions over and over again, for child after child, I would have kept notebook after notebook for every child. I would have recorded every single little thing. Date of crawling, date of walking, date of first word, what that word was, if he picks his nose with his left hand, if he points and looks at you at the same time, if he put cars in a row beside each other when he was interested in cars, if small details interested him …
It is all a blur after seven children and three miscarriages. After years of unhealth and terrible fatigue. My husband’s malignant melanoma. Our “sick” oldest son who at 24 is still a teenage rebel with every symptom of Autism. LIFE! If your child does not act weird or learns things eventually, you just do not memorize them. And I did keep records of things, on loose little pieces of paper, that have spread like the wind in our over-crowded two-floor house. And what does it really, really matter if he picks his nose with his left hand? Or what his first word was? How does it help him in social situations to know those things? What does it solve? Nothing! After an hour, “Boo” was bored stiff and interrupting more and more. And I had to take off suddenly to put more money in to the machine, since the appointment was for TWO hours instead of the one stated. I missed some of the physical examination, but everything was alright body wise. The problems started when he had to do coordinated things. Like skipping in an Indian dance, with left leg, right arm up and the reverse. He couldn’t do it and I had to tell him that “Boo” had a tough time learning how to bicycle and he still does not have the swimming down, since it is tough for him to coordinate arms and legs to do two different things at the same time.
I also had to tell him that he is extremely sensitive in his red hair, screaming b-y murder when we give him a hair cut. And that he can not feel when he has put the shoes on the wrong feet, the trousers backwards and shirt likewise. And he can not smell when he has peed on himself during the night! His smelling sense is really poor.
It is difficult to make an assessment of how it went at the meeting and the physical examination. The doctor, asked him to play in his office, while we spoke outside the door, and he asked me straight out, if I had considered a diagnosis of some kind. If I suspect something. I had to say that I haven’t got a clue. If anything, ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. But the psychologist said that it is a symptom of something deeper. That you don’t just have that and nothing else. And he doesn’t fully fit in on all the symptoms for that either. The doctor doesn’t feel he fits in entirely on ADHD either, so the testing will go on. Is he just a late developer? A typical hotheaded redhead? He is not easily diagnosed. The doctor says that he is developmentally late but he did not seem overly worried that he will not be able to do things in time. I guess we will just have to see what is being said on the 11 September when he gets his diagnosis. I did point out that they really should go and observe him in action, at school. Talk to his teachers, see how he interacts in the classroom, look at what it is that makes him stand up and leave the room or that forces him to wear headphones in the classroom. So far, the psychologist has not mentioned doing this at all. And I who thought it was standard and part of all testing?!
While, the doctor and I talked, “Boo”, soon eight years old, made this picture of ME for me. Yes, what a perfect portrait. Me to a T. Just how I feel I look. No wonder I can’t stand to look at myself in a mirror.
On a happier note, we drove to the shopping mall, for some miniature smurfs “Cookie” is coveting. They are on a super sale and I bought a set for “Gubby” to play with in church, since they are so tiny and can be easily packed. But she sits and steals them from him so that he squeals.Not the effect I wanted, in a room full of people, trying to get spiritually uplifted with what is said from the “pulpit”. I bought them for him to sit still and be quietly happy, playing with them. When we got to the toy shop, “Boo” started showing me what he wants for his Birthday in little over a month. Poor “Boo”! You don’t play with toys! He showed a Cowboy hat, a cowboy pistol and holster etc. I don’t know. It feels so hopeless. At the same time, one must give him something to unwrap. In one way one should just give him active things. A scooter? Bubbles to blow? Crafty things? The wish list grew as I picked up some Birthday presents on sale, for his little brother, whose Birthday is not until September. But after all, when they are on sale NOW, why should I not take advantage of that? Especially since they sell them for an arm and a leg on eBay and not at all at Swedish Tradera. So, here is part of what “Gubby” will receive since he just loooooves these right now! His beloved “Postman Pat”, the cat (not pictured), “Selby the policeman” and “Ted Glen”. It will really make his day. So, at least one thing went well today.