Brain drain at BUP

Well, the circus has started for “Boo” now. I spent two and a half hours at BUP yesterday morning, answering all sorts of questions about “Boo” and his growing up years and what he does now, in given situations. And of course I feel like the worse parent. What were his first words? When did they come? What sort of sentences did he use at age three? Did he have his own words for things? When did he stop that? Does he point at things? When he points at things, does he turn to you, to make sure you are looking? Can he himself initiate hide-and-seek? Does he shrug his shoulders, when he doesn’t know an answer. When a stranger smiles at him, does he smile back? All the same questions asked a couple of months ago, when “Gubby” was tested for Autism. And let’s say, it’s not easy to remember anything when you have seven children. Everything sort of floats together. Most of the things, you do not even pay attention to. Even though you love your child deeply. How many of you know if your child points at things and then turns to you, to make sure that you are also looking?

I walked out of that office feeling all depressed, like I do not know anything about my son. And on my way home I sat and wrecked my brain, remembering things that I could have mentioned. Many things children do, become such a habit, that you finally do not think them as odd. Like my “Boo” who is seven, putting on his shirts backwards, putting a left shoe on the right foot and vice versa, putting trousers on backwards. He doesn’t seem to feel that it is fitting wrong. But when she asked me, does he dress himself, I answered yes. Not thinking about that he puts them on alright, but not the way they were intended to be worn. One has to tell him to turn the shirt around, the trousers around and change the shoes to the right feet. And most often he objects, since he doesn’t feel or see that they are on wrong.

What is going to come out of this testing I wonder? She asked me a lot about his playing habits and I realized exactly how lonely he really is and how much he really wants friends, but can’t make any, because he doesn’t read the social codes properly. I feel so sorry for him and don’t know how to help him. He just gets in to trouble ALL the time. The custodian at school hates him and constantly bawls him out now, which has “Boo’s” assistant livid, since the pupils are not his business! I totally agree with her. Talk about megalomania! It just smacks such un-professionalism from the school’s angle. The custodian and the cleaning lady attacking my son, screaming at him, taking revenge on him, holding grudges against him and as soon as something happens, it’s always his fault, even if he wasn’t even in the school building at the time! Luckily this man is retiring in June. Not a day too soon! He’s already a grumpy old man and is not improving with age. Pity the cleaning lady isn’t retiring as well, with her husband who runs the school’s office. These non-teachers are as far as I know completely un-educated, got the jobs just because they are Catholics, and are holy unsuitable to work with children. They are there to look after the building, not the children. But they seem to have forgotten that.

In June, after school is out, “Boo” will go and do the same things “Gubby” did. Play in front of a camera, with a manuscript for the psychologist to follow. And he will see a doctor, I will be interviewed by her as well, and I don’t know what the second meeting with the psychologist will be about. But it will once again feel like we are living at BUP.

When I got home, D. handed me a 15 page paper he has written on Antisemitism, Racism and Orientalism. I was so exhausted that I just wanted to cry. But his grammar can be so poor and sometimes, I just don’t understand what he is trying to say, so how will his teacher understand? He gets so angry with me when I tell him that he has to re-write it, so that we all understand what he is trying to tell us. The problem yesterday was also that he assumes that everyone else has a certain knowledge about things and you can never assume that! Sure, I have read the same 600+ pages book on Antisemitism that he has read and the book about Racism, as well, but not everyone has! Maybe not his teacher? And Orientalism is such a complicated concept that it can not be assumed that everyone knows what you are talking about. I knew, but not under that name!

And as if that was not bad enough, trying to read through a 15 page paper SLOWLY in order to understand and correct, he sits and gets angry beside me, since he was reading about how all the elections went in Europe for the EU-parliament. It’s a sad, sad world we are living in!!!! He had me livid as well by the time I headed for bed. The elections really were a disgrace. We are living in 1930s Germany and not in modern Europe. Everyone seem to have forgotten Auschwitz, the yellow stars of David, what hatred and fear lead to.

What a day that was!


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