Easter, Halloween and Carnival all have one thing in common, and that is that they all have me in a sweat. Or rather, I clearly dislike one aspect of them in particular, which stresses me out immensely and that is… THE COSTUMES needed. Every year it is the same thing. Whining, tears and complaints. This child not wanting to be dressed this or that way, this child wanting something new because they’ve already worn that last year or last time it was dress-up time. For some reason the children don’t understand that I am not made out of money and my small budget do not include money for outfits that will only be worn once or say three times, in one year.
Today was Carnival day at my children’s Catholic school. It always arrives with me totally unprepared for it. This morning, “Kitty” whined that one child last year, came as an iPhone but as I told him, “that child spent a lot of time making that costume. It is not something one whips together in the morning of the day in question. You had all weekend to prepare a costume, but instead you chose to sit and watch TV and play on the computer!”. “Cookie” who is a class-mate of the iPhone-boy, added that the boy had spent tons and tons of time on it and that many children do. In other words, none of the children prepared anything during sports’ holiday, which would have been a great time to do so, when they were off school. Nor did they lift a finger to prepare something last week. And noone said anything about it during the weekend.
I guess, I should have done something about it yesterday afternoon, but when I fetched the boys in school, they were already kicking and fighting each other. Both of them continued the fighting all the way home, screaming on top of their lungs, so when I got in from the car, I felt fed up with them. I had no interest in doing anything. Of course I made “Boo” do his homework. And then he told me what he was going to dress up as. He went and fetched his pirate outfit, which was a relief. No complaints there and he was sorted. Soon I had to take off with “Kitty” for his 20-minute play in school. Driving all that way for 20 minutes! But I guess his class had prepared the play for last year, but there was too much going on then so they never got to perform it. It is a play called “The Donkey Prince” but I could not hear the story behind it, because the acoustic is really bad in the aula. “Kitty” behaved well and did well throughout, which was a relief since he had been so aggressive all afternoon. But when we got home again, I still felt very emotionally drained since we had had a terrible screaming match, all the way in to the school, that had left me feeling very unhappy. He basically has objections to absolutely everything. He has realised that he is not born the same year, as his classmates and is making a big deal out of it. He doesn’t want to go in that class, he says they will not play with him because he is older, and so on and on and on. To get heard by him, you have to scream, and I was so angry with him. I informed him that he is in no way a year older than his classmates. Had he been born 7 days later, he had been born the same year as them. But not just that, he could not speak better than his little brother does right now, who we are also holding back a year, and we could not start him in school because he was way too immature and could not sit still for anything. I had to tell him that his classmates, might say stupid things like that, but it is because they do not know what to say when they do not want to play with him. He then brought up the neighbour who had pretended that he was not home, when “Kitty” ran over to see if he wanted to play. So I had to tell him. That boy does not like to play with “Kitty” because he is too possessive. He doesn’t like when he has another friend over and “Kitty” tells him that he must play with just him and if he doesn’t do that, then “Kitty” is not his friend anymore and never wants to play with him again. Our neighbour likes to play with lots of different friends and is so much younger and can’t understand this sort of behaviour. But “Kitty” wants to own! I told “Kitty” that you can’t behave that way, that you suffocate people and that this boy has lots of school mates in the village that he wants to play with. Plus he probably prefer to play with them instead of “Kitty”, who is three years older than him! (His mother has told me that I need to talk to “KItty” about his behaviour, because her son gets upset by it! She is a psychologist so I am surprised that she can’t explain things to her son?)
When we got home, I sat down to watch a cozy murder, since “Father Brown” re-runs started last night, and I loved them when they were on last autumn. It was my opinion that T. could help out “Kitty” with his costume. So I trusted that they would come up with something tolerable. When I went to bed at 21:30, exhausted, T. had been in bed already for half an hour. But he was not asleep. I asked him what “Kitty” was going to be today and I could not believe what he told me: A terrorist! “WHAT?!” I screamed. He was serious. “Kitty” was going to have a black shirt, black trousers, black beanie and a gun. No way! Lets say that I had serious words with him even though “Gubby” was asleep beside me. “Kitty” has an over-sensitive teacher who is taking early retirement after this term. She is super-religious, very old-fashioned, one of those people born old, she is sick and tired of “Kitty” and she ABHORS guns, violence and all talk of such, pictures, etc. But T. refused to get out of bed and find something else. I thanked him for creating a hell of a morning for me. Of course I knew that there would be complete hysteria and screaming for 50 minutes.
And sure enough, we got out of bed and I had to tell “Kitty”, you are not going like that! And he pointed out that his dad had approved it. After 20 minutes of screaming and him refusing to put on the racecar driver outfit that I got out of the laundry room, I finally phoned his dad and put on the loud-speaker so he could tell his son, that he was wrong and I was right. He did, but without success. So my husband hung up the phone and let me deal with our ADHD son as usual, all on my own. That is how it is being married to a man with ADHD! You are married to a child, who refuses to take any responsibility for anything, just like your ADHD child!
“Kitty” said he would go to school in ordinary clothes. That is how stubborn he is. I knew this would make him sad later on in the day, when he saw all the others dressed up. So I told him that I would be forced to keep him home then, since I knew he would make the day horrible for his teacher, being so mad at me. I was standing in the sitting room with the racecar driver outfit, when I glanced at the pile of laundry that need to be sorted. There I spotted the one-piece I gave him two Birthdays ago, since he wanted it badly. One-pieces were all the rage then and I had first of all bought him one with the American flag. But he wanted one more. It is black with streets on it. I must try to take a photo of it and put it in here. It has a neon yellow zipper and today I discovered, which I haven’t before, that what it is, is a London map! It has streets marked out but its all in black and white. So it looks like an A-Z but reversed. Black background and everything marked out in white. He has worn IT one time and the American flag on, one time. Why? Because someone in school must have sad something negative about them. Once is enough, and he will never wear it again. Almost all his clothes are now in the pile of non grata. He will not wear anything I have bought him, except if they have angry birds on them. A whole fortune of clothes are wasting away and I never know what for him to wear, since he has discarded basically 98% of his closet, as un-cool things or things he can not wear because they have made someone laugh or tease him. I do not buy things that my children can get teased for, just to clarify things. The things he has discarded are worn by everyone else without problems. So, I have started to put a lot of his things in “Boo’s” drawers and since “Cookie” loves one-pieces, I have let her take “Kitty’s” when she has asked for them. But now, the one-piece was laying there and I told him, fine you are not wearing the perfect racecar outfit, you will be a London map instead. He finally put it on, 7:26, and then I spotted his brother’s “Lightning McQueen” cap and put that on his head. McQueen races in London, in “Cars 2”, so I told him that now the outfit was perfect. He jerked off the cap and refused to wear it. “Cookie” told him that he was being ridiculous but it was time to head out the door. I could not do anything but hope that things would go well, that he would behave.
I received an e-mail from his teacher. He had arrived and said that he was a map but I guess she did not look closely on the one-piece, because she said it was a black one-piece with some pattern on it. I could tell she did not approve. And she was mad, because he had had his usual black beanie on his head, refusing to take it off. He had a hair cut two weeks ago and he is like a L.A.-gang member since last autumn: He refuses to take the beanie off in class. They fight over it every day and he says he will not take it off, because he is bald. Which is a lie since he is far from bald. He gets his hair cut on the utmost setting on the cutting machine! But someone in school has told him he is bald, so he will wear his beanie all the time, even though it is not allowed, driving his teacher mad. He consider himself bald even six weeks after the hair cut, when the hair is long again and he looks like a troll with hair standing in all directions. Is it any wonder that I am constantly tired?
“Cookie” wore the other one-piece, which is an American flag and had made an American flag mask for her face as well. “Boo” went as a pirate of course, with hat and sword (rubbery thing from Legoland) and the headmaster had declared him as winner of best costume this year. I don’t know if it is true? But at least “Boo” was happy when he came home, despite some boys being mean to him in school today, burying his winter boots in the sandbox and throwing his sword and hat over the school yard fence. One of the boys dug his beanie down in the sandbox last week, so “Boo” and his assistant had to stand and handwash it for an entire hour to get it clean. Not the first time that I question myself about having the children at that school.
Carnival is over for this year, thank heavens. The next dress-up event is Easter Thursday. Then the whining will start all over again. Sometimes I hate traditions and following them.