I’m not even sure I want to remember yesterday’s utter fiasco! Tuesday evening at 23:00, I wanted a divorce! That is when T. says “So you are taking the car to the garage tomorrow at 7:00?!”. I could not believe what I was hearing. I know that he does not want the car fixed. What problem is it of his? I am the one that drive it! I am the one that get caught by the police! It is me that everyone give a dirty stare because it sounds so bad! He just wants to act like his mother did: Go shopping with money that we do not have, throw up that VISA card, and then turn a blind eye to how it is going to be paid. He saw a car at Toyota when he was there and got the verdict on the car weeks ago. 120 000 Swedish kronor We would be in debt for 5 years! But he wants it. Says the man who gets furious every month because we have hardly anything to live on after the bills are paid. I am supposed to pay the bills and still magically see to that there are lots left in the account afterwards! Well, I have told him we can not buy that expensive car. I don’t care if it has AC, is an automatic and uses diesel! His dream, not mine!
So, let’s say we had words Tuesday evening after the Eurovision Song Contest semi-final. No way, that I was going to go in to a male-chauvinist-pig-place like a garage, with our car! I do not deserve to be humiliated by those men with low self-confidence, who hold women in such low esteem! He can deal with them! At 7:00 I stand in our kitchen ironing and nagging our boys to eat, get dressed, get their rucksack packed for school. How on Earth could I be in two places at the same time? It was ridiculous to even suggest it. Let’s say, he had to stay home and work yesterday while I did my usual thing of looking after the children. Which meant that I had to keep “Sparky” home from pre-school since it is too dangerous to walk on the big road with a pram. There is no room on the sides to walk and they drive with big lorries there, full of stones, VERY fast. At 13:00 I had to put him in the pram and walk to the bus station and we had to take the slow bus to town to fetch his brothers. At first he thought it was fun, but then he got sleepy and I had to tell him to stay awake or sit in his pram. He didn’t want to sit in his pram during the bus ride so… We got to the school at about 14:00 and “Kitty’s” teacher was furious with him since he has been “speeded” all week. And “Boo” was very excited about the evening’s “show”, so he had not paid attention to where he had put down his jacket and trousers. (Having changed in to shorts during the day.) I had to leave without them since we had to catch a bus at 14:13. We went all the way home again and were able to eat a little before we headed back to school at 16:30.
When we arrived home, the car was parked in the parking lot! I hardly dared to ask IF it had been fixed and for how MUCH! It was fixed, great relief!!! And I could hardly believe the sum: 100 Pounds/120 Euros/154 Dollars. Now I know that prayer really works, even if it doesn’t work when I pray for another baby!
So we traveled in the car to town, BUT without “Sparky”. He refused to go in a car or a bus again, after spending two hours in one, earlier. “Cookie” took him to the playground instead and “Dollie” practised the piano, when we left. We arrived on time and I was all excited to see “Boo” sing and say his line. Well, the other children stood in a row on stage and sang. Except “The German” lady’s daughter and a half-American boy. They joined “Boo” in silence. But at least they stood up. He sat on the floor, in the row, and INSPECTED HIS TOES throughout the show. It lasted only 30 minutes. Then he was to tell us all to go to the dining room and there we would get cinnamon rolls and chocolate balls. Well, he whispered his line and then dived behind a curtain. So noone heard what he said. The teacher had to tell us what to do. So I drove all that way to see him pick his toes!
While the other parents ran down, T. and I ran around searching for the trousers and jacket, since there would be a queue anyway. But when I got down, there was no queue. “Boo” was sitting all alone, munching away on his cinnamon roll and chocolate ball and went for seconds when it was allowed. “Kitty” had sat down with friends, of course not inviting his little brother. Deep sigh!
I had not meant to eat anything but he was so proud of having helped baking, that I felt I had to make sure he saw me eating. I wish I could say that it all ended well but it did not. Soon the teacher said that she would take one parent with her from each family and have a parenting meeting and that the rest of us could stay mingling and eating. It had been said that all children should go home, so I was surprised but I thought, “fine, then T. doesn’t have to take the bus home!”. So while I cleared our part of the table, “Kitty” and “Boo” ran out to play in the school ground, OR SO THEY SAID. I started talking to this dad, who is my daughters’ English teacher, about “Dollie’s” new British flag shoes. That is when “Kitty” runs in and screams that “Boo” is throwing stools off the “grandstand” in the chapel! I ran upstairs but he wasn’t there. But I was met by screaming children pointing this and that direction. He went that way, no that way… I ran around searching all over. And then I was met by the gestapo! The German lady that was screaming in her usual hysterical way, that he had thrown this stool. She was carrying the stool around to prove her point! And she was clinging to me like a leech, telling me the same thing over and over again. Then when I am up on the grandstand, I see T. down in the chapel searching for “Boo”. He is angry because the German had dragged him out of the parenting meeting totally hysterical. She screams at me “well, I couldn’t find you!”. I was so hard to find that “Kitty” found me right away in the dining room where we had all been moments earlier!!! No, she kept on saying, “He was wild, throwing stools off the stage, knocking down the trees, trying to throw the drum and then he threw this stool off the grandstand!”. Interesting how he could be in two places at the same time but all the same. Finally I got hold of him and all the children stood there expecting to hear a wonderful bawling out. I started but then I thought, NO, I just took him out to the car and there we sat and waited, getting sweatier by the minute. Oh, I bawled him out alright. “I can understand that you were shy and did not dare to sing or anything. Fine. A wasted evening watching you pick your toes which I could have done at home. BUT acting like a complete lunatic, THAT was NOT acceptable.” Yes, all the children were running wild, but he was five times worse than the others. So when “Kitty” and T. came out, I drove home, and spent the rest of the evening being upset, since I did not see any other parents coming out of the school, so I assume they all stayed behind to discuss the problem of horrible “Boo” and how to get rid of him! The German lady taking the lead no doubt.
Today, I received my code to log in to the University page and it was worse than I thought. They have nothing recorded on me what so ever! I even have to prove that I have gone to gymnasium. I just feel like ripping all my hair out and scream. I don’t want to be here anymore… I don’t even know where to start trying to track everything down, and how can I? Many things are before they put things on computers!!!! Yes, I am a dinosaur. Suddenly I feel completely and utterly, a waste of space.