When I arrived at school this afternoon to fetch “Kitty” and “Boo”, “Cookie” came running out of school looking really weird. She came and told me that “Boo” looked terrible and that he had cut off part of his hair. I just stared at her. Soon he came out of the building and I could hardly believe what I was seeing. He had cut part of his hair off. He doesn’t have long hair in the first place, but he had cut off a chunk of hair in the front. 5 cm long, from front up towards the top of his head, and 3 cm wide. And he looked scalped because he had managed to cut all the way down to the skin.
Why? Because the classmates had teased him so much and had sworn at him, so he had picked up the scissors in frustration and cut his hair off to make them stop. I got so furious that I locked the car and dragged him up to the headmaster that was in a meeting. I refused to go home till he had seen what had happened and so that he understands that he can’t behave like an ostrich anymore and stick his head in the sand. The problems will not go away by themselves! We need to have a meeting. Something I have asked for since November. And have pushed hard for, the last five weeks. I want him to be there, his teacher, the special ed teacher and the psychologist! “Boo” needs help with how to solve conflicts. Which I told the headmaster a whole year before he started the pre-school class/ zero class! But the school also need to do something about the bullying! It is not acceptable that all the children tease him, hide his clothes, pushes him, hits him. That they tell him that he has ADHD when he does not. And then for the parents to phone me, when he has reacted in the only way he knows will make it stop, by hitting them. Now the headmaster wants a pre-meeting with me and then the big meeting. May something, anything come out of it. The headmaster is slippery like an eel.
When I got home, more upset than upset, I could not get in to the bank and pay the last three bills that needed to be paid by today. When I got ready to phone the bank, the telephone rang. It was a parent from “Boo’s” class that phoned to tell me that her shy daughter doesn’t want to go to school because she is afraid of my wild and mean son. She told me that he has hit her daughter (it happened weeks ago) but that she has not told her parents, that other girls in the class have told their parents, and then those parents have told this woman. I got so angry and told her that when “Boo” hit her daughter, it was because this boy Vilhelm in his class, had told him to do so, otherwise he would not get invited to his future Birthday parties. And “Boo” wants friends and loves going to Birthday parties and eat cake, so he did as told. He wants friends so much, but they just tell him to do bad things and then they turn on him, and he still stands friendless. I got so upset during the one hour phone call because this German mother was under the delusion that I am a mother that is totally clueless to what my son does and that I sit out here thinking that he is an angel, doing nothing. I told her that I am bending backwards to get changes but that I am just hitting my head in a brick wall month after month.
When “Boo” started the pre-school class, he reacted to teasing by screaming on top of his lungs. But this little boy that had just arrived from a Bulgarian orphanage, taught him that hitting is the way to deal with things, when one is upset. That boy’s new adoptive mother, did not like that the adults do so little at the school and that there are not enough adults to supervise the children, so she moved her son to another school. This German mother thought that this was a very nice, convenient way to solve the problem. Hint, hint! In other words she would like to see us move our son as well, so that there will just be little “angels” left in the class. The only problem is that the boys in the class will find someone else to pick on, won’t they?! Although, perhaps that child will react the way I did to bullying: becoming worse than shy, withdrawing from people, becoming totally insecure and without self-confidence. But that is just alright isn’t it? That doesn’t hurt the “angels” does it? It doesn’t bother the others’ parents. They can just all wash their hands. Not their problem. But “Boo” they can not tolerate. He is a problem they want to get rid of.