Well, Tuesday afternoon, I stood up from my book, to make home-made pizza for the children and “Cookie’s” guest. I hardly got started before I had to run for the loo. It was worse than Niagara Falls this time and blood clots galore. It took me two hours to make the dough for all the individual pizzas, since I spent the major part cramping on the loo, bleeding away. When evening arrived and our house guest had left, I received a phone call from a sister in church. Our plans for Wednesday were to go out and visit “our” sisters the next day and she wondered if I could drive because she would not have a car. I hesitated. I knew that she has not just nine children, but has also gone through several miscarriages. So, I swallowed and then confessed to her that I had a miscarriage five and a half weeks ago, and that it is still a “bloody” mess. Worse than ever Tuesday evening. She just gasped and said “I am coming to fetch you and we are driving to the women’s clinic”. “No we are not”, was my answer and that “one can not just show up there…” So, she phoned them, and then phoned me back and told me to phone a nice midwife, that she had talked to. I am so glad that this sister phoned me from church. I guess I just needed to hear sense from someone but to be honest, I was two seconds away from phoning myself, because I was scared.
My conversation lasted for more than an hour, since I had to explain why I resent the women’s clinic so much. We both agreed, the midwife and I, that it was no use in coming in during the evening because there was only one doctor on call for the whole house and then we are talking about women’s clinic and delivery and the adjacent wards. One C-section and then the doctor is gone forever! So, yesterday morning, I headed in alone. I was so scared that I was shaking, but paying the new fee of 47 Euros/41 Pounds/62 Dollars to get in to see someone, sobered me up! My exact word to the secretary was “WOW!”. They might as well get to know that this is hideous in a country of socialized medicine! I have decided to not pretend that fees are alright, but let people know exactly what I think about amounts like that. We don’t all have a full-time job! I entered the door of the dreaded place and joined the few women there, in the waiting room. Everyone had their spouses with them which was nice for them I suppose. And then the wait started. More and more women arrived with their spouses and the nurses kept coming telling them that unfortunately six doctors were sick and only one doctor in the house. (The night before, the midwife had told me that they would have one doctor, just for the women’s clinic! Had all six gone down with the swine flu over night? She whispered, later on to me, that some are off on holidays! Right!) If someone wanted a new appointment instead…? Noone did! I found out since I was an emergency, I would have to sit and wait till there was a gap. Good thing I brought my 700 page book about Anti-Semitism with me. Although that bothered everybody else! They ALL sat and stared at me reading away and marking important passages. To my surprise, after a couple of hours, the nurse came and told me that if I was able to give a urine sample right away, a doctor could see me.
I can ALWAYS give a urine sample so I was soon with the German doctor! And to my delight, she had actually READ my case history. I guess for once I got value for my money. A painful examination ensued since she had to push really hard on my C-section scar to see the uterus. And I had to lay freezing the pictures for her, since she only had two hands! Talk about mediaeval methods here when the patient first is asked to play masochist and push really hard in a very painful spot, which I could not, and then to be a lab assistant, when I know nothing about all those buttons! Outcome? Difficult to measure my lining. I was sent home with medicine that will make the uterus contract more, bleed more, but hopefully will also get rid of the remains of the pregnancy. If I am still bleeding in two weeks, I have to go back there. May it not be so!!!!
Sadly, my iron levels are lower than low as well, so I was ordered to take iron tablets for the next four months. My gallbladder free body does not do iron pills! My body has never done iron pills. And I can’t take them with my hypothyroid pills because they take each other out so to speak, so now I will have to remember to take the iron, if I take it, in the evenings instead. Which is hopeless to remember. I never ever remember taking pills and such in the evenings! Too much is going on AND I am too tired by that time. But blood transfusion is not something I want to go through again, either… Of two evils, I guess the pills, is the better!
When I got home 5 hours, after leaving home, I was met in the door by a crying Daniel. He is 18 and doesn’t ever cry! But his ear was hurting awfully bad. So we had to get him an appointment to the doctor at the local clinic. Ear infection! I did not feel well enough at all to take him, but I had to since he did not want to go on his own. He is now on penicillin and a cortisone nose spray. When we got home, he wondered about when he could take this and that pill. Pain killer and so forth, and I told him that I love him very much but he must keep his OWN pill schedule in his head now, because I have all my own pills to sort out. Times to take them, remembering to take them at all… Hypothyroid, one hour before eating every morning, one pill Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and two pills, the rest of the weekdays. Uterus pill three times a day for three days. Iron pill every evening but not drinking milk in connection with it.
This morning, I woke up with a splitting head ache, cramping uterus and feeling dizzy. So dizzy that I fell twice on my way to the loo. I had to SMS T. at work to ask him if one gets dizzy from the uterus pills. (Takes too long for me to get on internet.) Sure enough. So, I have spent all day in prone position because the whole world is swirling around, even when I close my eyes. And all I wanted was just a little sweet baby! A good smelling little angel with soft hair, little tiny fingers and toes, all trusting, all wonderful. “Dollie” and I sat and mourned the fact that I didn’t get a baby this time either. Noone but our family can understand how we really, really, really desire an eighth child. We ALL want it. Even Johannes that has left home. We ALL feel that someone is missing!